I have never felt the desire of wanting something more. What I wanted at that moment as turned my head at the last second before heading down to the break room made me lose it. Watching has facial features and remembering all of the things he'd said to me made me long for something that even I cannot pretend to understand. I saw his energetic body and his tired facial features. I finally saw how his mind worked and it fascinated me. I was so drawn to his gestures of kindness that it made me long for more. Not just more in a friendship, but more.... How could I tell him that what he'd done to me had nothing to do with him personally? I wasn't trying to make him the object of my mind obscession. All I wanted at that moment was what I couldn't have. I wanted to cry. I felt like maybe feeling sorry for myself would help me know that I was being totally selfish about the whole thing. I couldn't cry at work, but I wanted to. I really honestly wanted to cry at work right at that moment. And the scariest part was...I knew exactly why.